My Biggest Lesson

I remember distinctively my first time presenting to the Governing Body and let me tell you, I almost s*** myself.

I'm not even going to lie about the fact that I was literally stumbling over my own words. Now, this is where I usually say something along the lines of bilingual problems but I was so nervous that I'm pretty sure I accidentally said 'All good' as my response to the Mayor. I know. Tragic.

Fast forward, three years from then and I'm chairing a meeting with Auckland Councillors, actually being able to understand what the heck is being discussed and contextualising information as if I didn't just say 'All good' to the Mayor almost three years ago. *Shaking my head*

When I created this blog, I wanted to be honest in my experience as a young person. I guess because there's not a lot of young people in these spaces, I've noticed that many young people have failed to recognise that I was once a hot mess [still am but that's for another post], who couldn't see the significant connection that affordable housing has on the topic of homelessness or the array of high-level language that makes these euro-centric spaces much more intimidating than they should be.

Today, I was reminded of the power of humility.

In today's age, we're so consumed with the idea of having to have the answer to everything. I'm a firm believer that you don't need to know the answer to everything because, in reality, no one actually knows the answer to Auckland's most pressing issues. That requires a team of academics, consultation and years of trial and error, so you know what sis? You are all good if you don't know the answer; we all trying to figure it out together.

When you start to understand, that no one actually has the answer, you'll start to recognise that these spaces of 'governance' are about identifying what you don't know and what you do know in order to practice the art of humility.

And so, the transition into this space is never easy.

You're going to be faced with the idea of feeling out of place. You either feel too young to be in this space, less experienced or downright, less educated. The only way to really address this is by addressing the feeling of fear.

Weird? I know, it took me a while to understand the substance of such a notion. I had to call a friend in order to dive deeper into what makes young people so scared of a space that is supposed to be made for them.

There's this stigma that when we're in spaces of 'governance' that we not only need to know the answer to everything but we also have to somehow change in order to be heard. Which, is disappointing to admit because I think we initially get into these spaces because we can provide a voice that is reflective of the communities we represent instead of generic answers that can easily be found in 70-page documents on Wikipedia.

Sounds like you? I know, same.

I started to realise that the 19-year-old me who had felt like I had to play a role in order to ensure that my voice was heard, had somehow lost her way in the mix of trying to understand everything. I forgot to play the most important role of all and that is, Veisinia. No longer was I, Veisinia, the girl who was passionate about youth voices but rather I was, Veisinia, the girl who felt like she had to play a role because I feared that I wasn't adding value.

I subconsciously changed how I spoke and articulated information in order to be heard as a young person. I feel like many young people fall into this trap of changing themselves in order to suppress the fear of not being able to add value into a space, conversation or solution but what many fail to understand, is that when we start to do this; we actually start to diminish our worth as young people.

What made us initially authentic is now lost in the preconceived notion of having to be someone that we're not. And for me, that was trying to be the smartest person in the room when in reality I wasn't [still am not but can say I'm a lot more smarter than I was at 19-years-old].

What I neglected to see and what I've noticed many young people fail to recognise is that when you transition into these spaces, your mindset has to also transition with it. No longer are you a young person who is wanting to be heard because essentially, you are now a young person who has been heard and as a result, you've been given a platform and opportunity to elevate your voice. So, the task now is to identify how you can use this platform to share your most authentic voice. Once, you've crafted this mentality, you're able to provide more impact in the spaces you're apart of. Because being a young person who has had different lived experiences is truly important when it comes to these spaces. They just need to be authentic in order to make the biggest impact.

I wish I knew this earlier. I wish I knew that instead of changing in order to fit Auckland Council, that Auckland Council had to change in order to fit me. Changing yourself within these spaces will only do you a disservice as a young person who is passionate about how the world works. Because once you have the platform to elevate youth voices, you now have the responsibility to be as authentic as possible in order to reflect the communities you represent.

And so, if you've made it to the end of this post; understand that it's not necessarily what you don't know but rather what you do know and how you can use that to add value into these spaces. Understand that as a young person who is navigating your way in either Tāmaki Makaurau or Aotearoa that, that alone is authentic. Don't devalue your personal lived experiences.

There is no need to play a role because when you start to play a role, you start to dismiss the things that make you great.

So kids, making the biggest impact within these spaces is truly about being your most authentic self and that for me was addressing my fear of not knowing everything. I had to practise a sense of humility in order to come to terms with the fact that I may not know everything but I'm willing to learn because a friend of mine once told me, 'you don't have to be the smartest person in the room because that means that there is no room for growth'.

The moment I realised this, was the moment I started to mobilise the spaces I'm in and be my most authentic self, which was Veisinia the 22-year-old who just bloody cares.

Chairing a meeting with Auckland Councillors