We can't be circumstantial.

Heck, it's been a while since I sat down to write something. 

A lot has happened since my previous blog post but just like the process of grieving, you can't force yourself to speak about experiences that haven't been fully processed. 

For those who are wondering, there are three stages to writing a blog post; 

1) You experience. 

2) You reflect. 

3) You share. 

Each stage doesn't necessarily have an allocated time frame to it. 

It could take 3-days for an experience to go through all three stages or it could take 3-months in my case, to sit and dissect what actually happened. 

When we sit down and separate how we perceived an experience to what actually happened, we're able to see a situation in its entirety without our emotions clouding our better judgment. 

And so, for the past 3-months, I've been trying to unpack the difference between perspective and perception.

Only to realize that I wasn't necessarily doing this alone. 

I had a group of young people who were carrying my experience as if it were their very own. 

It made me realize that my experience was fundamentally shaping theirs. 

Why? 

Because trauma is transferrable.

To provide a bit of context, a community leader had made a statement that included the name of a youth voice that I'm apart of at an electoral evening ran by a neighbouring youth voice.

The statement was and still is factually incorrect. 

Unfortunately, the series of events that occurred after having addressed the statement reflected something that was much more alarming than being called a 'toerag' by an elected member. 

What was the most chilling thing about this experience was knowing that other community members were aware of this encounter but chose to play the role of a bystander.

It made me wonder;

'Why do we consistently encourage young people to actively speak up on issues that matter to them, if we're not willing to manaaki them in the process?'

Instead, all we're willing to do is choose to watch as they get shut down. 

The irony. 

Simply saying things such as, 'Good on her for speaking up' behind closed doors doesn't actually hold anyone accountable nor does it challenge and dismantle existing practices of how we include young people in discussions. 

Instead, we continue to enforce a toxic environment that is based on practices that focus on individualism whilst preaching 'communal' values. 

We can't simply tell young people to speak up if we're not ready to listen.

We can't expect young people to stay engaged if we're not willing to set the precedent of what is considered a safe space for young people to be included and stay included in discussions.

We simply can't be circumstantial anymore.

We no longer can be circumstantial in our values. 

Because the reality is, speaking up shouldn't need to be circumstantial. 

Looking out for a young person should never be circumstantial. 

And choosing when to hold your peers accountable should never be circumstantial.  

We can't just blame 100-page plans for why young people are disengaged.

We have to look somewhere deeper into our own practices in order to realise that we are potentially the problem.

Being called a 'toerag' meant absolutely nothing to me but, knowing young people in my community who had just gained a sense of confidence within their ability to engage in thought-provoking discussions were now witnessing the ugly side of politics. 

Therefore, when we endorse interactions where a young person is silenced; we essentially normalise this type of behaviour and in hindsight silence our most vulnerable at the same time. 

We shouldn't need to wait for trauma to exist to interject. 

The moment we do that is the moment we let down our young people.

It is the moment we tell young people that we value them but just not that much.

It is the moment where we stop young people from dreaming. 

And it is the moment we remind young people of what they aren't instead of what they are. 

Changemakers. 

Greatness. 

Intelligent. 

Gifted. 

It's interesting, throughout this entire experience those who reached out to me and checked on my mental health were young people. 

Young people who are apart of a community that has and still is affected by youth suicide. 

It says a lot about a system when those who check up on your well-being are those who are still healing. 

It says a lot about a community if those who are making a conscious effort to support young people are young people. 

It says a lot about community advocates if we continue to encourage young people to speak up and then silence them during the entire process.

We can't just recognise that there is an issue anymore.

We have to start addressing them.

Because saying that we have a 'youth suicide issue' suggests that there is an issue with our young people.

The only issue here is a moral issue.

And so, to the young people in this very photo.

Thank you for reinforcing the beauty of the youth space.

Thank you for continuously setting the precedent.

And thank you for making sure that I wasn't alone.

I hope that you never feel discouraged to address social injustice issues.

I hope that you continue to set the tone for what is acceptable when it comes to positive practices for youth engagement and participation.

And I hope that you are able to see your value everywhere you go.

You are the superheroes without capes.

The faces of the untold stories.

And the humanity we are trying so desperately to find in community practices.

Arohanui x